It has been 135 days since we start 2017. Today is the 15th of May in the Southern hemisphere. In my current area, the lights outside has been on since 15 minutes ago, it is autumn and the sun set early. In a place a few hours from where I live, in a different continent, in a certain island, lives all the people that belongs to my past.
I want to dedicate this post to them.
- It has been 4 colourful years since the last time I met some of yous. These are the ones who have spent almost two years of our lives in a certain city in Malaysia. We had a fun time there, some ridiculously hilarious moments of trying to be adults. Then we kept connected when we got back to the capital of Indonesia. We also spent some times reunited for events. Until the last event, where I spent it in my unimpressive spiritual state. I severed all our ties since then, and we agreed to go our separate ways. I am always grateful for your dignified decision. For this, you have a special spot in my heart.
- Between us, it has been 6 years since the last time we met, and 5 years since the last time we contacted each other. I decided on a state of unimpressive mental state that I couldn’t trust myself whenever I talked to you. From there on I decided to cut the ties that connected us. You still tried to contact me, and I kept quiet. And it has been months since the last time you tried, and I still kept myself quiet. Thank you for understanding. Even now I can feel the wound in my heart still warm and giving out its heat. I loved you, and I still have love for you. I wish you have a great life, friend.
- As I pictured you in my mind, I felt myself facing a very closed wall. Apparently my memory of fear related to you still strong in me. I didn’t realise it. But now, my dear, I dedicate this paragraph for you. I learned that you got married, it made me feel so grateful. I am happy for you. But I couldn’t let myself to contact you again for now, not after feeling that ignoring these past years made me feel a glimmer of peace. I pray you happiness with your new family.
- My closest circle next to a family, thank you for sharing a beautiful past half decade and early youth with me. I am always in loving memory with you guys. Never fade never shadowed, even after the disconcerting spiritual awakening, you guys still live inside my heart with glowering warmth. I love all of yous, and I am grateful for our separate ways, you guys rock. Have a great life wherever you live.
- You guys, my fringe friends that I never thought would hold me the best birthday in my life (for the time being), I love you all. Thank you for your support and love and time in my life. I pray you all well and happiness, whatever life phase you all are currently in.
- My first spiritual teacher! Never would thought that I’d be meddling with spirituality aside being a follower for a certain established religion. Now look at me, and I can only say, thank you. If it were not for you, I may not have experienced what necessary happened in my spiritual path. You, and all your cronies were a great gift from the universe to me. I wish you all well and healthy, much love.
- My family. Greater family members and inner members, all of you, thank you for having me as a part of your cult. I could never brushed you guys away, the genetic factor is in our blood. May we all be blessed. Thank you for having us, hey Universe.
And all other characters that have played their roles in my life, thank you, thank you, thank you.
Happy 135th day of 2017, people. Wherever you all are right this second when you read this post.