It’s been 2 months and no, I have not yet made any significant changes in my life. At least not toward the goals that I want. Sheesh. Talk about the laziest person in the room. (Point to self).
So, my assignments are building up. My self worth in contrast is plummeting oh-so-fast. And my mind is bellowing with so many orders with various voices adopting various people who had influenced me in the past.
The perks of living in isolation is you have to deal with those voices everyday. Nothing to distract you unless you do something that requires your utmost focus. Then, luckily, you might silence those voices.
The accuser. The avenger. The gossiper. The faker. The fucker. Choose one, choose all, they are all animatedly jumping around my mental world.
Thanks to my curious attitude. Thanks to my paranoid impulses. And my self-pity mode. I keep them all in fear that I might be able to actually find a cure for my anxiety symptoms and I might be able to find the benefits of their actions in my quite distant past.
The only thing that made them unbearable is the automatic projector that is playing by itself. Yes, you may know it as the “memory”. What a fickle thing.
Some people said that you can actually click the “off” button. I’m still trying to find out where it’s located. The monkeys surely had it hidden quite safe.